Mothers Day Tea

I had the privelage of having Mother's Day Tea with my oldest boy at preschool on Friday. We are blessed to have two incredible preschool teachers (no, seriously, they are the very best. Sorry!) who work so hard for our kids, and put together a very special day for us Mums. 

It started with each kid giving their mum a hand massage (yes, really) with delicious, soft lotion. They sang a sweet song while holding our hands and looking straight into our eyes about how much they love us (nope, still not kidding). We played a game where we stood behind our kids and answered various questions on chalkboards, while the kids showed the answers they had guessed in front of us (apparently my favourite drink is fruitopia, not coffee). 

We had tea and sweet treats, watched a slideshow with photos of the kids and what they loved doing with their mums. We guessed which portrait our child drew of us.

It was so sweet. It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day busyness and stress of life with our kids. To take even just that one hour, and be able to stop and spend dedicated time with just one of your children, to get a glimpse of how they see you through their eyes, is such a treat. 

It was an incredible afternoon, and I'm already looking forward to being able to do it again next year with my second boy. He's already talking about it, too!

My Boy is 5

My oldest boy turned 5 yesterday. This blew my mind when I set up my calendar back in August, and it doesn't seem any more believable today. 

Travis is loud, funny, athletic, and rambunctious. He's a bit of a trouble maker and a major button-pusher (still). He starts soccer this week and he is very excited. 

He is way more into school than I thought he would be, given how active he is. He now knows all if his letters and sounds, and can spell more three letter words than I can count anymore. He's just that one final step away from reading. On the way home from school the other day, he said "Mom, there's a taxi behind us! T-A-X-I. Taxi!" 

He has been writing his name since the beginning of the school year, and I can't believe how far his penmanship has come within the last few months. He's writing much smaller and neater than in September. He's also recently begun to write "To Mom/Dad From Travis" on all of his artwork, of which there has been plenty, lately. 

He's not my cuddler, but he still gives the best hugs. I love this boy so much. I can't wait to see him thrive in sports, especially, over the next year. 

A Breath of Fresh Air

Today was such a fantastic day. I said to Jared tonight, "The parent side of me just feels so refreshed today. Like maybe we can all make it out of this 'raising a family' business alive." (Sane? Maybe asking too much...)

We spent the morning in our schools parking lot, bound and determined to get Sam up and cruising on two wheels. And she did it. 

Sam has always been incredibly timid. She's come such a long way that sometimes people don't believe me or think I must be exaggerating. But it is something that has caused many a struggle. Learning new things always takes a very large dosage of patience, persistence and firm encouragement. 

She had a moment when we started where she was getting weepy and a little self-pitying and I gently and firmly told her "Nope, not today, Sam. Put it away and let's do this. I know you can get this. I promise, once you get it, it's so easy, and you were so close last time we tried, I know we can do this today." 

And we got it.

The look of accomplishment on her face after--I tell you it is one of the most priceless moments as a parent. 

And on top of that, I felt so proud of myself for not getting frustrated with her and felt really connected with my Dad. It just brought back so many memories of Dad teaching me new things and I know that the firm encouragement is something I've definitely been on the other side of. 

We decided to celebrate by all going together to the FamilyFavourites movie presentation at the movie theater. It was only $10 for all six of us to get in and Joel thankfully nursed and slept through the entire thing. 

In any family, but especially one with four kids, the dynamics of 6 personalities under one roof can be difficult to balance. And in this "young family" stage, we compensate for that by switching up and splitting up. When one of us needs to run out to do an errand, two kids go with, two kids stay. When Nana asks for a play date, a different pair go each time. Arguing in the van starts to amp up? We switch the car seats around. 

But today there was almost no fighting or arguing and we were able to spend the whole day together. 

We came home, had a late lunch, and were having such a great day that we just packed up and ran out the door again and headed to the corn maze. 

I'm so thankful for this day. Such a bright light in the midst of tantrums, messy floors and poopy diapers.

Day 114

My first Throwback Thursday today. All four kids within their first day of life. Clockwise from top left: Samantha, Travis, Joel and Bryce. 

Travis- 4 Years Old

Travis you are so full of laughter, energy and light. You give the best hugs. Seriously. Everyone says so. 

I was a little sad to send you to school on your birthday today but you had so much fun. You got to share your birthday with 2 other friends at school, too! (3/20 students happened to turn 4 today! What are the odds?!) 

When I came to pick you up, you told every single person we passed in the hallway that it was your birthday. Shy is not a word that anyone has ever used to describe you.

You became a big brother again during this past year and it's been interesting to watch you around a baby now that you're a little older. I can definitely say that you are not what I would consider a "baby person" but now that Joel is a little bit older and laughing and using his exersaucer and jolly jumper, you are slightly more interested.

You are still weirdly obsessed with Spider-Man even though you have never seen a show or comic book, etcetera. We have no idea where it comes from. You are also obsessed with "hot lava".

We have had some behavioural struggles over the last month or two, but I think it's pretty typical little boy stuff. We're still working on how to correct some of the bad behaviour, though.

For your birthday we gave you a baseball mitt and ball, a tornado simulator and a set of lacrosse sticks and ball and you could not have been more excited. You are such an active kid and love to play ball and run around outside!

We love you so much, kid. You make us laugh every day and I hope that never changes!

A New Year

As 2013 is coming to a close, I'm feeling some very mixed emotions. 

On one hand, it's been a very rough year, and I'm welcoming that feeling of "starting fresh" that comes with the new year. On the other hand, leaving this year behind and heading into one that Dad will never be a part of is painful. 

But there's a lot to look forward to in 2014. With the closing of 2013 we also say goodbye to the newborn days, and head into the more exciting days of babyhood. I'm looking forward to watching Joel develop and getting those first glimpses at his personality. Each of our children are so unique and I'm excited to see which traits Joel will have and how they will all mesh together for him and how that will work in our family.

Samantha will be 6 very soon and I'm enjoying being witness to her development through kindergarten, both intellectually and socially. It's so hard to believe how painfully shy she once was when I watch her at school now. 

Travis is starting a more difficult and less desirable stage. Our boy who used to eat anything and drink an 8 ounce bottle of milk in 30 seconds (NO exaggeration...) has become an increasingly picky eater and is testing his boundaries. He's become very vocal and defiant. It's all a part of the learning curve and for the most part, we're finding a good balance between discipline and letting him be heard but we've had a few embarrassing moments in public and I'm sure there are a few more to come. But, he is still our sweet joker and makes us laugh daily. 

And Bryce. He can be a very typical youngest child at times. He's also testing his boundaries, but takes it out more on his siblings than his parents right now. He will often wait for Travis to put down a toy, and in one motion, snatch it from the ground, turn and bolt, simply because he knows it will make Travis mad and he'll take off after him. He is a happy-go-lucky boy who is always smiling (except when he's throwing a tantrum) and skipping around everywhere. 

How are you feeling heading into the new year? What are you looking forward to?

Highlights

Today, during Sunday School, Travis covered half his head in soap while he was in the bathroom. Thankfully, his aunt was his Sunday School teacher and washed as much of it out in the sink as she could. 

On the drive home tonight, just a couple blocks from our house (Sam is very directional and can tell how close our house is from any direction), Sam was being quite rude so I said "I can pull the van over and let you out here." to which she replied "Well, I could just walk home."

Oh how these kids of mine keep me on my toes...

Back To School

First day of Kindergarten by herself

Thankfully, both kids have started school without a single issue. Sam seems to be doing fine with full days (minus one tired meltdown at home after the first full day, but we are completely expecting some of that!), and Travis couldn't wait for me to leave him at school on his first day. He may as well have kicked me out the door!

First day of 3-year-old Preschool

This is such a reflective time for me. On Tuesday, I picked Sam up at the same time as I dropped Travis off, and since his class was only an hour long, I gave her the option to go home and rest (Jared was at home!) or come to Walmart with me, and she opted to rest at home. So we drove home and I just pulled up in front of the house to let her out. She hopped out, said "Bye, Mom!", blew me a kiss and marched up the stairs. She looked like such a big girl to me.

Travis, as well. We parked at the school, I unbuckled him and let him out of the car, and he threw on his backpack and waved "Bye, Mom!" at me like I was just going to drop him off and let him find his own way to his classroom!

You may have noticed that I've been adding tags to some of my posts to help me find certain things a little easier (as a side note: JUST DO THIS WHEN YOU START YOUR BLOG AND SAVE YOURSELF THE HEADACHE!!), so I've been combing through tons of old posts and going through all sorts of old memories and it just really hits home, how much our kids have grown and how it's gone by in such a blur!

Oh, babies, don't grow up too quickly!!

Life Lately

I feel like we have such a busy summer this year! Does it get busier and busier as the kids get older?! I'm assuming it does, so I guess I should get used to it!

Where to start? So much has been going on lately! 

The older two kids are doing a half day camp through the YMCA this week and I'm so glad that I put them in. They've been having lots of fun and learning lots of new  things about the ocean and everything in it since it's a beach themed camp. It's also been great to have a little mini preview into how Travis is going to do in preschool in the fall. I wouldn't say it's really giving me much of a break  at home though, since I'm now Bryce's only source of entertainment, but I'm enjoying getting to spend some one-on-one time with my littlest monkey.

I went into nesting mode about two months ago and I think it's one of my favourite parts of pregnancy! My entire house has been purged and organized! It feels so refreshing to get rid of things we don't need and it kicked us into gear to get some of our rooms patched and painted that have been put on hold for a while. It feels great to start personalizing our home a little bit more and painting over the colours that we didn't like with ones we've chosen ourselves. We still have a bit of work to do in our room, but it's a lot easier and faster to get done on a day when the kids are at Nana's so it'll have to wait for a little bit longer.

Pregnancy wise, everything is great. We had a little bit of a scare after our ultrasound, but after going for some additional blood work, we were relieved to find out that baby is just fine. It was a difficult and stressful week, though.

Next week is supposed to be HOT, so I think we'll be hunkering down inside and possibly hitting up a friends pool to try and beat the heat. Hopefully I won't melt!

Bad Dreams, Bad Dreams, Go Away

You wake with a cry and I rush to your room. As I look in, I realize you are still asleep and having a bad dream. I crouch down beside your bed and give you kisses. Tonight, it isn't enough. So I sit on the end of your bed and pull you into my lap. You're getting so big now that it takes a minute to find the right spot where you fit just perfectly. Lo and behold, the perfect position is still a cradle with your arm tucked behind my back. 

We sit that way, nestled into each other, for a few minutes. I work to synch my breathing with yours so I can feel it slow. As I sit there with your tiny body curled against mine the words "You'll miss this" play in my head. And I know I will. So we sit for a few minutes longer. 

The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. For this, even sleep can wait. 

I wish against everything that you'll always be this snuggly. But, I know, one day, you'll wipe my kisses off your cheek. You already do some days. One day it will be my head tucked into your shoulder as you tower over me. And only for brief moments. I won't be able to smell your sweet, sleepy breath because you'll be breathing on my hair, and you won't be sleeping in this home that your Dad and I have made for you anymore.

So, we'll sit for a little while longer. 

And then I'll tuck my arm into the crook of your legs and scoop you up, lay you back on your pillow, cover you with another blanket, and pray that only good dreams fill your head.

Travis, You're 2!

I can't believe you're 2!

I love you so much. You're growing up to be such a funny, wild, loving boy.

You're a total ham and love to make people laugh. You're much more of a risk taker than your sister which is fun, and sometimes a little frightening. You love to cuddle and I hope that you never outgrow that. I hope that when you're 17, you still will give me hugs the way you do now. You throw your arms around my neck and squeeze and I don't ever want to let you go. I can't hug your dad without you running up and demanding to be picked up and squeezed in between us.

I'm finding it so hard to sit and write this post. I can't believe you're two and I wish we could stop right here for just a while. I love you so much and I cherish your sweet hugs and kisses. You're such a boy and yet I've had more than one person comment on how gentle you are with your brother and how interested you are in babies in general. 

You still don't talk very much, though it's not at all surprising considering how much your sister talks and how often she speaks for you. But, we are working with you more specifically on speaking in complete sentences, rather than just saying "up" or "more" and you're definitely making more of an effort already. I'll be interested to see what happens when Sam starts school in September.

You love animals. You scream "dog" every time you see one, try and cart Bailey around everywhere with you, chase birds in fields and love to visit the chickens to collect eggs at Opa's house. 

You love your family. You try to wrestle with your dad and your sister and sometimes she even puts up with it. You love to hug and kiss and sit with Bryce. You'll still snuggle and fall asleep in bed with me from time to time and since the move, I've had the pleasure of your night time cuddles a couple of times.

I'm sitting down for the third time now to try and finish writing this post. Partly because you keep me so busy I don't have that much time in one sitting, and partly because I'm feeling like I just can't find the right words to sum up what I want to say. About how much I love you and how much joy I find in watching you discover and play and how much I love how you enjoy making people laugh. We have a special bond, you and I. I remember being so upset for a time when I found out you were a boy and not a girl, because I wanted Sam to have a sister so badly, but I'm so thankful that God knows our families before we do, because I certainly can not imagine my life without you in it.

I'm looking forward to watching you develop more over the years to come. I can tell the next year or two are going to be "fun" for me as a parent, though. You've been testing your boundaries a lot more lately. You get the cutest grumpy face when you get caught doing something you know you're not supposed to be doing. Half the time I actually can't physically stop myself from letting out a giggle. I guess I better work on that if I want my words to mean anything to you!

I love you Monster.

(PS: Just some of the nicknames you've accumulated over the last year: Monster, Linus, Achmed, Trouble, Smelly, Terrorist.)

Bye, Bye Curls!

Who's Who?

Everyone's been asking me who I think Bryce looks more like, Samantha or Travis, and I keep saying "I don't know. I don't guess anymore when they're this little!" Even looking back at Sam and Travis' newborn pictures, I can't even see them in there. Once they're a couple of months old, it's a lot easier. But, for everyone's enjoyment, here's photos of all three kids from when they were in the hospital. 

Samantha

Travis

Bryce

It seems that half the people think he looks like Sam, and half say Travis. The one thing that everyone does comment on is how tiny he is. He has such a different build than our other kids. He's so scrawny and his limbs look like chicken bones! He's definitely going to have to be a scrapper to compete with his brother!

The 5 Of Us

I've wondered at times through this pregnancy whether or not it will feel the way I've always imagined once this baby's here. Will I feel that sense of completeness as soon as I see our last baby on my chest? Will it feel like everyone's here now?

Some days I look at our kids playing and think that maybe it would have been possible for me to be satisfied with having just Samantha and Travis. Most of the time though, it still feels like someone is missing.

As often as I have said that I desperately want another girl so that she and Samantha can have that sisterly bond that I have always longed for, knowing Travis and having seen him develop into the character that he is, I can definitely see where another boy would fit so perfectly into our family. I've become incredibly content with the idea of another boy or another girl. I know that whoever it is that joins our family in a few short days (fingers crossed people!) has been tailor made for us. They will be the perfect addition.

The crazy thing is, Samantha can feel that, too. In these last few weeks she's begun to speak often of "the five of us".

I wrote this past summer about the way that she stunned me with her unexpected display of true love for her Dad during a phone call while we were in Ontario, and yet she's surprising me still with her love. 

She knows this little person no more than we do. She doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl, she doesn't know their name, but she feels their presence in our family already and she loves him/her the same way she loves me, her Dad and Travis.

We cuddled up in our big bed the other night to watch The Polar Express. The kids brought their blankies, I popped some popcorn, gave them their little bowls and cups and we all snuggled down in the blankets and pillows, just the four of us. And what is Samantha thinking about? 

"Next year when we watch this movie at Christmas time, all five of us will be on the bed!"

It's hard enough for me to imagine this little person being a part of our family and what that will look like, and then there's my three-year-old daughter, already picturing the five of us together a year from now, cuddled up having a movie night on Mom and Dad's bed.

(Sorry about picture quality. iPhone+low light)

Social Media and Pregnancy

Ahhh, social media. Such a love-hate relationship we have. 

I love being able to keep in contact with all of our family that is spread across this continent. I love being able to keep friendships alive during times when life gets so busy that it's impossible to find time to connect in person for weeks at a time. I've even been able to build and strengthen friendships through Facebook.

I've also had friendships crumble, partly due to Facebook. Though, of course, a friendship that falls apart can never be entirely blamed on Facebook. It's likely that it wasn't a very good friendship even before Facebook was involved.

I have quite a few Facebook "friends" and I like it that way. In general, I don't mind at all if someone wants to keep tabs on what my family and I have been up to--I'm the same way! My one "requirement" it seems, is that if I see you out and about, I expect that you want to come and say "Hello."

Facebook  is a wonderful way to keep in contact with more people than would be possible otherwise. It doesn't replace the connections that we make with people in a face-to-face relationship. If you're not going to give me the time of day when I see you at the grocery store, then why should I feel like I owe it to you to accept your friend request on a social media portal? Clearly we're not actually friends. I wouldn't consider you an acquaintance if you wouldn't even say "Hello" to me at the mall!

When pregnancy is involved, things get even...funnier? I've tracked other friends' pregnancies through Facebook and been able to see the way that our mutual friends connect with them throughout their pregnancies as well as having experienced these relationships during my own pregnancies. There are certain people who suddenly seem incredibly more invested in your life when you announce a pregnancy. And I do  understand it. Everyone loves babies!

The thing that gets to me is the expectation that they have to always be in the know. Or the people who announce your baby's arrival for you. And how quickly they become disinterested in your life once Baby is a couple of months old.

That second one really gets to me. Every parent has the right to share their own news, so when I see "Congratulations so-and-so and welcome here Baby ______!" and I go to "so-and-so's" page to write my own congratulations only to find out that they haven't said a word about the arrival of their baby, it drives me a little crazy. Actually, it drives me a lot crazy.

I've carried my baby for nine months and just labored for hours to bring them out and into this world and I'm not even the one that gets to shout it from the rooftops?! Somehow it feels like I got gypped just a little bit.

It may very well be that this is just one of those things that gets to me that other people seem to have no problem with. But, either way, in the weeks leading up to the end of my pregnancy, I've taken steps to ensure that I can share my own big news by disabling the ability for anyone else to post on my Wall, and I guess I'm just left to hope that people will respect our rights enough to not tag us in a status update revealing that we have in fact had our baby.

I can't wait to share the news with all of our friends, and Facebook is definitely one of the first places I think of to make that possible. But, we also want that window of time to be able to share the news more personally with our close friends and relatives.

Have you ever experienced anything similar? Did you take any extra steps to preserve your own rights, or was it just not a big deal to you?

Teeth

After one final long and restless night, Travis' fourth eye tooth is finally through!! It's taken about three months for these final four to come in (obviously not every night was rough or you would have heard much more about it ;o)) and I'm looking forward to at least one month of solid nights of sleep. I know, high expectations considering I'm nearing my 34th week of pregnancy. 

Even if that doesn't happen, I'll be glad to have a less irritable toddler for the next few months before his 2 year molars start moving. Does anyone else have an opinion on whether or not boys are "worse" teeters than girls, because I sure noticed a huge difference between our kids. Maybe I'll have to wait and see how the tie breaker handles teething!

If you think of us tonight (or today if you're not reading this until Wednesday), send up a prayer for us. We should be getting some big, long awaited news in the next few days and I'm hoping that I'll be excited to share it with you soon :o)

Oh the fun to be had at Nana & Opa's Farm

Jared had an excavator at the farm to do some work recently so of course the kids all had to have their turn helping Uncle Jared/Daddy! 

For some reason I can't seem to find the photo's I took of Kyra :o( But, Jared told me later that the first thing she said was "Can we squish something?!"

Samantha is always skeptical about these types of things but she trusts her Daddy.

Travis and tractors. This boy will never get enough

Jayce told Uncle Jared that the dirt had to go in the dump truck. In a pile on the ground just wasn't good enough!

Getting a ride back up to the house in style. I LOVE the look on Kyra's face in this photo!

Belly Pics

Samantha at 22 weeks:

I was horrible at taking belly photos when I was pregnant with her so this is the only photo I have from around this time. The next time I took one, I was already full term.

Travis at 25 weeks:

And at 27 weeks + 5 days:

C3PO at 23 weeks + 1 day:

And at 28 weeks + 1 day:

When I was pregnant with Travis, he took up all of the space possible. So I popped early and hung out there for quite a while and then suddenly he started to push out and I really popped. 

This baby, however, is taking up so little space, still. When I'm laying down and you place your hands on either side of my belly you can push on each side alternately and my belly moves side to side like jello. Same goes for the top of my uterus. The top 4 inches or so of my uterus is filled with nothing but fluid. So my belly has been very round for quite some time, but it's stayed like that since.

My pregnancy itself is far more similar to Samantha's but I'm carrying much more like I did with Travis. By the end of my pregnancy with Samantha, I had a major cone belly! I looked huge! So, who knows, boy or girl? Guess we'll find out in a few more months!

Perfection

I wonder what this baby will look like.

As parents, we don't always see what others see. When we look at our kids, especially when they're brand new, we tend to see only perfection. It's not a bad thing at all! But I remember after we had Samantha, Jared and I were over-the-moon, smitten, head-over-heels, in love with our daughter. She was perfect in every way possible. Not to say that we don't think so now; she is perfectly who God made her to be and imperfect in the same way that we all are. But I remember when Sam was a little older, Jared and I were looking back at some of her first photos and we both had the same thought:

"Wow, people were being kind when they said how they thought she was so cute!"

Look at me, all anemic and still smiling!

But, still, she was so perfect in our eyes! She couldn't possibly get any more beautiful or cute!

And then we had Travis. And he, too, couldn't have been more perfect in any way.

Less anemic but burst every single blood vessel in my face. Go me!

So now I am left to wonder. We've had a girl and a boy, neither of whom could have possibly been made more perfect images of the two of us. So how is this little guy or girl going to be just as perfect?

Because I know they will be! ☺

Tickle, tickle, tickle

Travis is finally (used loosely) talking!

He's a little late in the vocabulary department compared to his sister but that's hardly fair! He's been "saying" a few words for a while now and I'm pretty sure he's had the ability for some time but with a sister that talks as much as his, where's the motivation?

I'm not even 100% sure on what we would call his "technical" first word. He's been saying "Mama" and "Dada" for quite some time and once, quite a few months ago, he very clearly said "Nigh nigh" at bedtime but he still rarely utters that one now. 

He says "tickle, tickle, tickle" when he tickles your feet and he's been using some version of that for quite a few months. In the past couple of weeks his vocabulary has really started to take off, though.

He now says the following words, though not always discernible to everyone:

duck

goose

shoes

down

no (while doing the sign for "thank you"--SOO cute!!)

whoopsie

nana (banana)

more

He still loves to give hugs and I can't ever be sitting on the floor without him in my lap (I'm okay with it ;) but he also has taken to a love of punching, kicking, pushing, hair pulling, etc. He's a real rough-and-tumble kind of boy! He may not have a need to be tough with the older sister he has but when we're with the cousins, they all tend to get a little rowdy! Samantha, Jayce and Travis were already dog-piling each other at dinner last week and naturally, Travis always ends up on the bottom. It always makes me nervous, but every time we remind them all to be gentle and the two older kids give him a second to get up, there's always a huge smile on his face!

As much as I would love for Sam to have a sister, Travis would sure do good with a little brother!

To see a sample of what Sam was speaking like around this age click here, but I warn you, your heart will melt into a pool on the floor. Or, maybe it's just me...)